My 11th Day in Bed

22 weeks.
11 days on strict bedrest (including 3 days of hospital bedrest).
126 days until our official due date (November 28th).



Yesterday marked 22 weeks pregnant! Every new week has become a treasured milestone, moving us closer (seemingly inch by inch) towards our goal of making it to September 17th (30 weeks). In a way there is an added peace we have this time that we didn't have with Canaan - knowing we have been here before and made it through to the other side. But what we face now is a challenge greater than with Canaan - with the pre-term labor starting two precious weeks earlier. And the hardest part for me has been losing my ability to be a Mom. I never knew how much I would miss bath time, refilling sippy cups, being able to pick him up, even diaper changes. Still, I give my worries and moments of sadness to God, try to stay positive, and He continues to give me strength beyond what would come from within myself naturally.

BJ has been truly amazing, taking on the role of a single working dad - enduing mentally grueling 10-hour shifts at work and then laundry, grocery store trips, house cleaning, watching over me and working to fill both mom and dad roles for Canaan. We are so incredibly thankful for our families, our friends and our church. We have been blessed with so much love and support!

My next ultrasound is tomorrow afternoon, and hopefully the test results are good enough to allow me to stay at home and not be readmitted to the hospital! But whatever happens, we'll gladly do whatever is necessary to bring Ezra home safe! I know there are plenty of people who would happily change places with me and go through all of this if it meant they could have a child. I try not to forget that when I'm starting to feel the itch of self-pity.

My Hiding Place

Having just completed "The Hiding Place", it's difficult to find myself anything but grateful - laying in bed on day #1 of bedrest. Even with an uncertain number of days ahead of us I am so thankful to God...

• That Ezra is still in there. One more day down.
  
• For BJ - even after a long 10 hour day taking calls from angry people he came home to be Mr. Mom and my help without a single word of complaint. Only support, concern and love.
  
• For the reminder of how blessed we were with Canaan to have had him arrive full term and perfectly healthy. Every milestone met, every smile, even every cry - we are indeed overwhelmingly blessed.
  
• That I have a comfy bed to lay in.
  
• For a good book to read.
  
• For intelligent, careful, caring doctors.
  
• For the medicine that already seems to be helping keep the contractions at bay.
  
• For the video baby monitor making it possible for me to see the sweet baby I miss already.
  
• For our wonderful friends and family who are already helping us in so many ways.
  
• For Ezra and his sweet, strong kicks.
  
• And of course, for plain M&M's.
  

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Corrie ten Boom and her sister Betsy, after entering their barracks at the concentration camp, Ravensbruck (for hiding Jews in their home).

....

"That's it, Corrie! That's His answer. 'Give thanks in all circumstances!' That is what we can do. We can start right now to thank God for every single thing about this new barracks!"

I stared at her, then around me at the dark, foul-aired room.
"Such as?" I said.

"Such as being assigned together."

I bit my lip. "Oh yes, Lord Jesus!"

....

"Thank You," Betsy went on serenely, "for the fleas and for---"

The fleas! This was too much. "Betsy, there's no way even God can make me grateful for a flea."

"Give thanks in all circumstances,'" she quoted. "It doesn't say, 'in pleasant circumstances.' Fleas are part of this place where God has put us."

And so we stood between piers of bunks and gave thanks for fleas. But this time I was sure Betsy was wrong.

....

One evening I got back to the barracks late from a wood-gathering foray outside the walls. Betsy was waiting for me, as always, so that we could walk through the food line together. Her eyes were twinkling.

"You're looking extraordinarily pleased with yourself," I told her.

"You know we've never understood why we had so much freedom in the big room," (all other barracks were under rigid surveillance, guards in their warm wool capes marching constantly up and down) she said. "Well - I found out."

That afternoon, she said, there'd been confusion in her knitting group about sock sizes and they'd asked the supervisor to come and settle it.

"But she wouldn't. She wouldn't step through the door and neither would the guards. And you know why?"

Betsy could not keep the triumph from her voice: "Because of the fleas! That's what she said, 'That place is crawling with fleas!"

Half Way!

Today marks 20 weeks! We're so excited to welcome our little Ezra this fall. It's funny how I really always knew that this was a boy, from the moment I found out we were having a baby I just knew (and hoped). On that day 14 weeks (or so) ago I went into Canaan's bedroom, slowly rubbed his back to wake him up after a long happy nap and told him, "Ezra's coming, sweetheart! You're going to have a little brother!" (Funny that if I had been wrong I wouldn't be telling this story!).

20 weeks also is a milestone for me for another reason all-together. It was around this time when I was pregnant with Canaan that my long relationship with our couch began. And... it seems, I'm headed there again (but not yet officially, thankfully). We will have extra challenges this time around, but we are also blessed with the knowledge that everything can turn out just fine, with another healthy (full term) baby. We just need to get through the next few months. It's only temporary, and it's all worth it.


Excited to see our sweet little guy again this Thursday. At least one small perk to being high-risk.

GG Murphy

BJ's Grandma Murphy is a seriously amazing woman. Even in her 90's she still cooks, cleans and helps look after little ones. And she is sharp as a tack. We love listening to her stories, laughing with her and seeing her and Canaan together. BJ and I are so blessed to have all of our Grandmothers still with us.

This weekend BJ's Dad visited and he picked up Grandma for a little trip out to our place...



...we fed the fish...



...many many catfish to be specific...



...swung, climbed, played...



...and savored time with each other.



We also celebrated Maria's 25th birthday!